Dear him..my dear..

i wish u could know what i am facing in every second.
the only reason is coz of u my dear.
u kept make me feel guilty and angry.
why does it happened again and again.
why dont u try to take bit of time to know me better.
deep.look into my eyes.my soul.
i want the best for myself and for you.
why did u let me always feel awful.
im the only who love and care about u.
but you dont ever care about me even i know u love me.
am scared.am guilt.am tired.am so feel awkward.
all coz what u have done to me my dear.
even i have forgiven u for all time but..
it does not mean that i've forgotten all u have done my dear..
u make me feel sick slowly every time we fighting.
cant u see that im dying to suck all this?
im suffering coz of u.
i am still standing and pretending to be happy and calm to public.
it is because not to tell about what really happened.
there is a regret inside me.deep.
but when i remember all the good part in our story.
the smile.the laugh.the eyes.the touch.the cry.the tears.all about you my dear.
it gave me strength and hopefull that all this painful for me will be not forever.

i will love u for the rest of my life.
because u are a kind of person that make my life begin like what i am now.
even..u gave me cheer n pain..it doesnt matter as long i can stand for it.

but dear..
i will leave u if..
there is hopeless..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i am still waiting for u to make me feel "real" to live with u..
still waiting and always giving time for u to improve yourself..
to make me truly feel protected.loved.cared.and matured.

dedicated to my dear NORIZMAN BIN ISMAIL....